The Hobbit

The geek in me (who is the same geek that has seen the long ass director's cuts of the three LOTR movies in the cinema even) is pretty excited about Peter Jackson's "The Hobbit". Of all the LOTR books it is by far my favourite. It also contains one of the best opening lines of any book in history:

In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit.

Before this sentence no one even knew what a hobbit was. No one had ever seen or heard of a hobbit. No one knew what they looked like, where they lived, or how many times a day a hobbit might like to eat breakfast (at least twice). It makes this first sentence unique and original. It is also a fine first sentence because of its simplicity and it's ability to immediately get your imagination going.

I was eleven when I undertook reading The Hobbit and Tolkien's other LOTR books. I had been long obsessed with C.S. Lewis' Chronicles of Narnia and read somewhere that the two men had been friends and had influenced each other a great deal. So out I set to the school library and from the first sentence I didn't stop. I read while walking; before sleeping; while eating; basically any chance I could get (including hiding the books inside my textbooks during class; and when I had finished all four of the books I read them again.

Over the years I've read a or a few books from Lewis' Chronicles of Narnia nearly every year of my life. The last time I read the Tolkien books was when the first of the films was set to come out and only to see how true Jackson was going to be to Tolkien's much beloved material. While I have my complaints (mostly surrounding Elijah Wood) about the films I still enjoyed seeing some of my favourite fictional characters come to life. Especially Gandalf.

Living in a forest it's hard not to think about Tolkien's books and Middle Earth. Once on a long walk unsure of where to go me and my friend thought, how would Gandalf decide what road to take when he encountered five separate paths in the wood? Then when my neighbour's son started reading The Fellowship of the Ring I decided it was time to read the books again. So naturally I started with The Hobbit.

But I had to buy it as I had lent the set I bought before The Fellowship of the Ring came out in theaters and it was never returned, which really upsets me as they weren't a valuable set, but they happened to be the first books I ever bought at The Strand  and I happened to find them under a set of shelves as opposed to on them. They were covered with thick dust that made them seem all the more magical.

I bought a cheap paperback copy of The Hobbit (I could have had a first UK edition for 200,00 euros but I couldn't afford it) in Amsterdam at The Book Exchange and read that first line again, but this time with the perspective of someone who would love to write something as brilliant for children..."In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit."

If you're looking for news more on the movie than the book this is a pretty decent website, but I warn you that any true fan of the books isn't going to like the initial news. Yes Orlando Bloom is one sexy Englishman and I loved his portrayal of Legolas, but he isn't in the book. Jackson's "tinkering" around with details and well just between me and you I don't approve.

Why don't I approve Mr. Jackson? For the same reasons why I didn't approve of your other "tinkerings". For the past twenty + years I've been entranced by that one opening line alone, nevermind the entire book. Why change it? Why make it more Hollywood? If something has lived in the hearts of its fans for such a long time I would think it's good enough to be left alone.

But reading this book after so many years has made me smile. Like Bilbo, I'm there and back again to a time when my imagination was all I needed to make a book come to life.

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I Have a Headache...

Yesterday was the day I sort of "caught up" on everything that I didn't do while on vacation. It doesn't usually take me so long to get back into the swing of things but once I was back from Holland we went straight to the countryside and shit got crazy. There were guests (and more coming as Sunday I'm hosting a wee picnic in the forest and Thursday I have two friends coming for a visit from Switzerland and Finland); there was cleaning; a minor family feud with my little fauxbro; and then of course actual work. Even a flâneuse like me has to work from time to time, so as yesterday wore on tasks got piled up one on top of the other (including helping my best friend with his application to get into a highly specialised Masters program for Finance) and I didn't have a moment to eat anything besides a banana.

By mid-evening I could tell I was going to get a migraine. I tried to eat the chicken gumbo and rice I made for dinner, but my stomach wasn't interested. I tried to eat some more, drink some fluids, and went to bed. At 5 in the morning I woke up with my head throbbing so painfully I could barely orientate myself to make it to the bathroom where I shall we say tried to make an offering to the porcelaine god, but nothing felt better. I took a really hot shower (in the dark because I'm very sensitive to light when I get a migraine), and slept until 14h.

Woke up and still have a migraine. A friend of mine on Facebook also suffers from migraines. We are consoling each other on Facebook and swapping remedy suggestions. He's a biochemist so he's been sending me a few abstracts about tests done and things like that, but meanwhile my head is throbbing non-stop.

So please forgive me for not posting anything today. If it makes you feel any better I'll either be spending the rest of today with my head in a toilet, wishing I was dead, or reacting to any source of light (including my laptop monitor) like I'm some sort of super-super-weak vampiress. I may try to go for a walk later as it sometimes helps to exercise, but mostly likely I'll be in bed in about 30 minutes and won't allow myself to wake up until I no longer feel like some angry fairies are using my brain tissue as a sort of drum kit...

This is how I feel.

If you have any remedies for migraines, please post them in the comments.

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Celebrating 2 Months of Blogging!!!

Despite fattening up my blog with posts I imported from some older blogs that I never really did much with, today is the official 2 month anniversary of La Femme Flâneuse! So I thought to start I should at least say

and give you some fun behind the scenes facts about the blog.

The top ten countries who read LFF in June 2011:

1. United States (Thank you!)
2. France (Merci!)
3. Denmark (Tak!)
4. United Kingdom (Cheers!)
5. Germany (Danke!)
6. Austria (Danke Österreich!)
7. Singapore (Thank you!)
8. Italia (Grazie mille!)
9. Holland (Dank u wel!)
10. Hungary (I hope this is right because I had a very good Hungarian friend teach me once kur-sum-nurm?)

What really amazes me about my experience blogging these past two months is how patient you all are with my English! If you look at the Feedjit widget I added and see Paris, France that's probably me proofreading because I know I make so many mistakes and have yet to figure out how to tell the widget to stop recording my own page views. Blogger does have this feature, so once I have some patience I'm not saving up to use on some other time-consuming and tedious task I'll look into it. But, seriously, why isn't that just built right into the widget? Am I the only person who constantly re-reads their blog for errors?

There is a "trend" about what people like to read (that being literature), but even when I don't blog about something lit-related you still keep reading. It's rather nice knowing I can blab about anything and that short posts vs. longer posts doesn't seem to matter very much. Here are the most popular posts this month:

The Banquet Years of Apollinaire, Alfred Jarry, He...
Amsterdam Day 8
The Letters of Hunter S. Thompson
Weighing In
The Things that Go Grunt in the Night
Paul Revere Warned the British They Weren't Going ...
The Droste Effect
Live Long and Make Music Videos
The Global War on Drugs
Lolitagation

So you like to read posts about writers (the crazier the better it seems), my travels (limited thus far to Amsterdam and London (but I try not to blog about work), but I tend to stroll around in the same fashion no matter where I go), talk about the "F" Trinity of food, France, or fashion (what F word did you think I was going to say?), when I make fun of Sarah Palin which is fantastic because there is so much to make fun of, and when I talk about my battle against the bulge (which is currently slightly uphill) (again there is so much material ).

I started a blog because it was my job about six years ago and I loved it. I was blogging most of the day even though blogging was supposed to be just to add money to The Shoe Fund, but at the same time I also owned my own consulting firm. I was constantly snapping pictures (with the phone/camera/mobile blogging device specified in my contract), making videos, jotting down addresses, and writing pretty long posts compared to most blogs. When my contract was over I thought I'd never blog again, but a few months later I was blogging professionally again - this time about Paris and France in general instead of fashion, but it wasn't at the same pace. Trust me when I say that when someone says fashion is constantly changing that it is.

But that blog wasn't personal. It had very little to do with me except I was quite snarky. I was ready to get out of the industry. Saint Laurent was gone and I knew even then Valentino would be the next to retire. The art I loved was dying a very slow death. So when the going was good, I got going.

This blog is personal. What you don't know is every morning I wake up, I try to see if I feel thinner (usually not), I brush my teeth, and it begins. I look at myself in the mirror and ask myself in my head if I think I'm going to write anything today. I pick on myself like a silent bully that still manages toimpressively taunt my dignity, my dreams, and my confidence.

Most of the time I feel like a jackass. The book I've been trying to write remains mostly unwritten. The best is when I find old Post-It notes that no longer stick to anything that read "Will finish book by September 2011". I suppose deep down I am an optimist of a sort.

I can point to all kinds of examples of people who didn't start writing until later in life - but I simply don't want to be one of those people. I want to write a book and soon. I told myself that if I didn't manage to write a book I was proud of by 2012 that I would give it up and do something else with my life, but there's nothing left to do really. I've been an engineer. I've worked in fashion. I work in the publishing industry. There is no excuse for my inadequacies.

So while this blog is one of favourite ways to procrastinate it's also done a lot of good. Maybe in another two months the forcing myself to write (i.e. blog) will pay off in the way Tom Wolfe and Stephen King say forcing yourself to write (even if it's about a brick wall as Wolfe says).

I suppose I should post this now and go back to snoozing on the sofa, dreaming about chocolate, and taking care of my cuticles to trying to write again. I just like to say thanks every now and then and I'm usually horrible about remembering the dates of anything (I'm the girl who never remembers my romantic anniversaries and can date a man for years and not remember what day his actual birthday is), but this time I remembered.

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True Blood, Still Crazy

Yes, I watch True Blood. I've been telling myself after the last season's insanity and by insanity I mean plot holes that I wasn't going to watch any more and read instead. But Alexsander Skarsgard is really, really, really, really, really, really, ridiculously good looking.

Not the kind of plot holes that Eric dug up after he killed that werewolf - I mean the kind were Tara cuts off all her hair; Jason raises some inbred orphans; and Jessica and Hoyt start shacking up despite the fact that some diminutive doll collecting nutjob is likely stalking them. In Season 3 of True Blood a lot of stuff happened. Too much.

So you are warned. Here be spoilers. Lots of them too because I've seen the first two epsidoes now. I'll try not to ruin it completely.

In the hiatus I hoped Tara would take off and stay gone. No such luck. By the way Sookie is not a good girlfriend. If someone tells you that they're going to take off for awhile, you at least need to let them know how bad their hair looks. Well apparently Tara found a better hairdresser in Nawlins cause she's got like Beyoncé hair now.

In case you didn't know, HBO GO aired the second episode of the fourth season. If you're clever you might be able to find it.

So Bill is the King of Louisiana now and has a black ops private military squad guarding his house. Jason is a cop. Andy is hooked on V. Arlene's kid is possible Demian. Sookie escapes the fae plane with a little help. Sam shot Tommy and is now paying his medical bills and attending anger management with other shape shifters. (See, spoilers.)

To the good stuff. Eric tells Sookie "you are mine". Apparently this is supposed to be a big deal, but for the life of me I can't remember when Bill first said it to Sookie. All I can remember is every other time he frikkin' said it. It has to be the most said line in the show. Sookie tells Eric to go away. If only she could have sent him to my house.

Then in Episode 2, Eric is sent to break up a witch coven (Tara, Jesus, Lafayette, and that crazy Wicca chick that starting working at Merlotte's are there when Eric shows up), but instead Aunt Petunia from Harry Potter (is she still a Muggle then?) casts a little spell. Eric can't seem to remember, well, anything.

Oh, yes. Other things happen.

We get a little backstory on Bill and the Vampire Injustice League, especially about Nan. Pam is fantastic as always though her lines lacked their usual punch with all the "fairy princess" and telling Sookie that "he [Eric] pulls good string" when Sookie says she won't be Eric's puppet. Maybe it's just me, but bad grammar does not good wit make.

I think Alan Ball and the writers really saved their ass by making Sookie disappear for 12 months and 2 weeks in the show's story line. It sped up certain storylines (like Jason's), but at the same time it's not a complete save. The whole time jump thing gets a lot of mention in the season premiere, but even though it's been a year since last season, I'm still a bit off kilter. The writing doesn't entirely convince me that all the characters have had 12 1/2 months go by.

Still I watch the show for pretty much only one reason (to see Alexsander Skarsgard's with as little clothes on as often as possible) so as long as I'm sufficiently "entertained" I'll keep on watching because I mentioned before Alexsander Skarsgard is really, really, really, really, really, really ridiculously good looking.

So my prediction for this season? The big thing for True Blood is this is the season of the witch (obviously since the promos were all about it). Necromancers. The ability to control the dead. Vampires are dead. Mentions of the Inquisition. Also we're going to see some Shifters who can turn into well, anything. The thing is, Shifters only get that ability if they kill someone in their own family. What does that mean now that Sam shot Tommy? With the vampires trying to do damage control in the post-Eddington world, the top of the food chain has other things to think about and it's the perfect time to see what else is out there...

The list so far:

1. Vampires
2. Werewolves
3. Maenads
4. Witches & Warlocks
5. Shape Shifters
6. Fairies
7. Werepanthers (which can be "made" apparently by having werepanthers eat your intestines)
8. and whatever Arlene's baby is (which maybe some backwater bayou black magic of another sort)

What's next?

From S04E02.
I had to watch this scene over and over and over again to get the perfect still. Poor me.

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Banned Books

My near recent purchase of Henry Miller's Olympia Press of Sexus got me to thinking about banned books. I'm pretty sure in the Who's Who of Banned Books Miller would be pretty high on the list, but there are books that have been banned that one might not think of. like Huckleberry Finn for example (because Twain used the "n" word in a way that made him the Chris Rock of his day).

Racist?

As one can imagine France isn't one for censoring or banning books. In fact if it hadn't been for a loophole in French law that had no right to govern over works not printed in French (thanks to Maurice Girodias of Olympia Press for that) then the world might never have read Tropic of Cancer, Tropic of Capricorn, The Rosy Cruxifixition (all Miller's works probably), or James Joyce's Ulysses. The only book I can think of that has been banned in France is Claude Guillon's "Suicide mode de l'emploi" (Suicide, a user's manual), but it also got a law saying you couldn't encourage people in any way to off themselves and the book has been since made illegal to sell or own.

You can't speak about countries that are big on censoring books without mentioning the obvious like the US or China, but how about Ireland? Censorship in Ireland was so rampant it has its own Wiki page at least up until 1998 (no books have been banned in the Republic of Ireland since). In 1922 however the list of banned books in Ireland added up to 1200 titles.

But the reality is some of the best books have at one time or another been banned. Here are what I consider in my opinion to be the best books ever banned:

1. Brave New World, Aldous Huxley
Not only was this book banned in the US and Ireland, but it contains within it an example of a "banned book" - John the Savage has only two books, one being the collected works of Shakespeare which are banned in The World State of Huxley's brave new world.

2. Slaughterhouse Five, Kurt Vonnegut
Another "classic" of American literature that was banned. Not hard to imagine why. The pages drip with sex, drugs, profanity, anti-war sentiment, and religion. It was as if Vonnegut set out to write a book that would be banned. Continuing with the trend in SH5, another once banned book is mentioned this time it's Jacqueline Susann's Valley of the Dolls (which Vonnegut must have hated as it's only read in absence of anything else to read).

3. Catcher in the Rye, J.D. Salinger
Phonies! Considering all the bad karma surrounding Holden Caufield you'd think this book would still be banned, but the reality is that because it's on many required reading lists in the US, it's a consistently top-selling book year after year.

4. Animal Farm, George Orwell
Snowball and his farm friends caused so much controversey that it was banned because American miltiary officials believed it would offend the Soviet Union. Plus it also features a Droste effect like Brave New World and Slaughterhouse Five as within the story as Minimus is banned for "Beasts of England".

5. Fahrenheit 451, Ray Bradbury
Everything printed is burned in Bradbury's dystopian opus, but it's banned first. So is thinking for yourself. Bradbury chose the title because book paper burns at 451 degrees Fahrenheit.

If the ALA's list of banned and challenged books is any indication there is a "formula" that if followed might lead to your book being banned in today's day and age. Write books for children that mention religion (poor Philip Pullman as The Dark Materials trilogy is amazing); mention your religious viewpoint (even if that viewpoint includes vampires and werewolves); or write about gay penguins (or anything involving homosexuality for that matter).

1,536 challenges due to “sexually explicit” material;
1,231 challenges due to “offensive language”;
977 challenges due to material deemed “unsuited to age group”;
553 challenges due to “violence”
370 challenges due to “homosexuality”; and
121 challanged due to "religious view point:"

If only the ALA would accept challenges for poor writing...

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You Say Tomato, I Say Tomato

Before I left for A'dam I was a bit worried about my tomato plants (I still am, one is very yellow and seems to have an infection or something), but in my absence they have flowered!

It was a lot of work mostly because instead of buying soil, I simply bribed some friends with food to do it for me. It involved a wheelbarrow with a flat tire, a pick axe, and a shovel. Then I potted all the plants I bought at the marché and try to remember to water them regularly. I already got off to a bad start because I didn't realise I needed a drainage hole in the plastic pots.

There are some flowers still that have yet to turn into peppers or tomatoes, but I'm pretty excited it's progressed this far. I am actually growing something. My thumb isn't pitch black after all it seems. When I do buy a house I think I'm going to look for one where I can have a little spice and vegetable garden because apparently if you can grow tomatoes you can grow a lot of other things (that are as easy as growing tomatoes).

A close-up of what will be regular red vine tomatoes (tomates grappes).

More vine tomatoes.

Flowers that will then be some kind of pepper (I forgot to label the pepper plants).

Cherry tomatoes (tomates cerises).

These oddly shaped guys will be yellow oblong tomatoes called ondine in French.

These will eventually be black tomatoes originally of Russian origin.

The tomato and pepper area of the garden.

These will grow to be quite big and have lots of odd segments.

The setting sun through the vines.

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A List of ALL the Cooking I Did Today...

1. Peeled and boiled potatoes.
2. Fried a portion of chopped up bacon.
3. Made dressing.
4. Rinsed and drained potatoes, leaving them to soak in cool water for about 20 minutes (a secret of good potato salad).
5. Made frivoli pasta (my new obsession).
6. Diced fennel.
7. Mixed up potato salad ingredients. Seasoned. Put in fridge to let get cool.
8. Cut up tomatoes, cucumbers, and defrosted frozen peas.
9. Made dressing for pasta salad.
10. Fried another portion of chopped up bacon.
11. Hard-boiled four eggs.
12. Melted coccoa and butter in double boiler for cookies.
13. Made cookie dough.
14. Baked cookies.
15. Prepared from scratch BBQ sauce because have remembered how fattening fried chicken is.
16. Prepared the grill for the chicken.
17. Basted and pre-baked chicken for the grill.
18. Grilled chicken.
19. Made fried onions for green bean article.
20. Prepared green beans and then photographed them doing best to make them look tasty and professional.

In the end, I suppose it would have been even more work to make fried chicken (and like x 10 on the calories), but then I look at this photo and I know Fried Chicken Sundays don't need to be given up completely. Right?

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