Looking Back (Home)

I'm back home and ready to recount my last few days in Amsterdam. I suppose I should begin with how on my very, very last day (around noon) - I manage to tear a ligament in my calf running for the 10 tram at Marnixplein.

My last day anywhere is always a sort of ritual for me. I always decide where I'll have my "last meal" (the last two trips it was Rainmi and Thaise Snackbar, this trip it was Burger Bar) and go back to a few places I feel nostalgic about. My morning started off on the right foot - I woke up early, sat in the garden along the canal, ate breakfast, and hand-fed two beautiful swans who swam up. Then I went to catch the tram and rip!

Not one to be stopped by a little muscle tear, I went to the Leidseplein on the tram and hobbled around a good distance. I hobbled up Spuistraat and ducked up Kolksteeg street to find Burger Bar  and have my last taste of A'dam. I opted for the Philly Steak with cheddar and bacon and watched it made before my eyes. When I clapped with excited enthusiasm when it was finished, the girl behind the counter simply smiled. Honestly, I've eaten at Burgermeester and while I do like their lamb burgers, if what you want is a delicious burger and fries that is only slightly more expensive than fast(er) food options like McDonald's or Burger King.

While on the topic of what I like to call faster food, Amsterdam does faster food better than most places. It's always slightly healthier than true "fast food" and can be reasonably priced. If you want quality and don't want to pay too much for it, stick to the restaurants I recommend. Two burgers (with 3 extras), drinks, and a large fry at Burger Bar was slighly less than 20,00 euros for example.

If you hit places like Wok to Walk or some of the other similarly concepted Asian takeout places that do whole meal in a Chinese takeout boxes, you can have a delicious meal for as little as 5,00 euros (try the Kantjil & de Tijger's takeout place on Spuistraat for an Indoneasian mangkok takeout or if you want something much more authentic there's a tiny little Indonesian takeout place on Elandsgracht that was amazing and a massive meal cost 6,50 euros).

Oh and did I mention it kept raining? So there I was limping around with this highly ineffective Thermocare heating pad stuck to my leg trying to say good-bye to the city I love, but the weather wasn't cooperating. So when it rained I ducked into coffeeshops. I was saying good-bye to Amsterdam afterall.

Speaking of which, there are good coffeeshops and there are shitty coffeeshops. What makes a coffeeshop shitty? When they don't let you smoke without buying their crappy weed. The worst of the bunch is The Grasshopper on Spuistraat. In order to smoke there you have to buy 25,00 worth of their crappy tourist weed AND drinks. No thanks, I told them. Even slightly crippled I'll still chose to walk five more minutes to Homegrown Fantasy dank u wel!

Good coffeeshops? I have my favourites. For the past six years I've gone to the following regularly and never been disappointed:

Tweede Kamer - great stuff, helpful and hilarious staff who are quite serious about their business, and a favourite of locals. The seats aren't the most comfortable, but they give the best cookies with their coffees.

La Tertulia - A great place to smoke, good brownies, great seating areas, amazing vibe, and really (really) great staff. They also have all organically grown products. This is not the place to go to get Cheech & Chong high - but it is the place to sit, have a great smoke, and they have a great menu of toasties, milkshakes, and teas. They also have great games available and when it's sunny there is no better place to sit outside and have a smoke.

The Grey Area - Pothead centraal. If you want some serious weed, the kind they seem to only smoke in stoner movies, this is the place for you. By far the best weed in Amsterdam (and it better be for the prices). Watch out though because they have weird hours (12 - 20h00) and it's quite small so it's a sort of pick up your stuff and go sort of place.

Mellow Yellow - It's the first coffeeshop I ever went to and it stays out of the typical Amsterdam game. It's obvious too. Lots of locals, very few tourists. Really great Tibetan Buddhist murals to stare at too.

This trip I went to some new places as well. The best of the bunch was by far New Times. Great weed can be had here for less than 8,00 euros a gram. I loved the atmosphere at Bas Joe, Homegrown Fantasy, and the Greenhouse (the one on the canal, not the bar or coffeeshop on Warmoerstraat).

I was pleasantly surprised to discover Amnesia, which is owned by Barney's but has better stuff and a better atmsophere. I don't get the hype that surrounds Barney's, but Amnesia was a nice place to buy and sit for awhile.

The best thing I did on my trip? Go to Boom Chicago on the Leidseplein and ask about the boat rides. They're not "free", because they do pass around a can at the end for donations, but you can if you're on a budget give less than the "suggested" 10,00 euros though I don't recommend it. The boat rides are given by volunteers who work for the Saint Nicolaus association and go towards keeping up their boats and keep the rides available to anyone who signs up for them. The boats are from the early 1900's and were used to transport goods along the canal so they're very open and close to the water unlike other boat rides you can take.

I loved the boat. I learned even more about the history of Amsterdam, had a friendly chat with some of the other people, and even got to have a smoke! On the day I had signed up for it rained all morning and at the last minute I decided to at least see if the ride might still be on because the rain had stopped. Sure enough it was. The association uses doppler radar to check the weather and so the ride was a bit later than the original time, but I was pretty impressed overall. Well worth what I gave at donation time (20,00 euros).

I hobbled back to the flat after taking two wrong trams and having to get off at the wrong place. The lady who runs a sort of B&B had arranged a friend to bring me and my bags to the station. She doesn't advertise, but if you'd like a beautiful room to stay in for 60,00 euros a night with breakfast included and a real Amsterdammer to talk to, just shoot me an email (lafemmeflaneuse@gmail.com) and I'll pass on her email to you (it's her place that has the garden where I hand fed the swans).

I arrived to Paris. I was exhausted and knew I might be in for a surprise once I got home. After all I did leave a 22 year-old in charge of my beloved La Chienne and my flat for two weeks...

I wish I had snapped a picture, but I was so shocked by the state my flat was in that I could do nothing except hug my excited little hound and try to form a plan of attack in my head. Disaster isn't a strong enough word. All the plates and pots and pans in the sink were coated in a blue-ish mold. I couldn't force him to clean the house either because he had to catch the train back to England to register for college. Dammit.

I am an only child. When I met D almost three years ago I adopted him as my little brother. I'm almost 10 years older than him and sort of look out for him. He's not an only child though. He has three brothers and a sister who are all younger than him. I have adopted F and S (the little sister) too. Though F and S live in different countries so I don't see them as often.

Now I "mommy" panicked shortly before I left because I thought maybe I hadn't left my hound and flat in the care of the most responsible person. I hadn't. La Chienne isn't so used to being without human companionship. The flat was quite happy and clean when I left her...

So a lesson learned. I cleaned up (a little, the flat needs a complete top to bottom), made porco à cacciatore with from scratch sauce, and fell asleep on the couch at 7 pm...

I'm not so happy to be home, but I am happy to see the hound again. After two weeks with two cats I can say as cute and interesting as cats are, nothing beats coming home to a dog. Nothing.

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Amsterdam Day 8

It's pouring. I don't mean a little drizzle, I mean pouring. The cats I'm babysitting in exchange for the cheap digs have decided to tear apart their litter box in protest and for some reason planes keep going overhead with engines roaring.

There are some downsides to Amsterdam. Very few in my opinion, but there are a few.

1. The selection for cooking products is rather non-existent - especially when it comes to meat.

I'd like to talk to some cooks about this because even at Albert Heijn, which is the posh grocery store I can't find anything but chicken and rather poor cuts of beef and pork. No duck, no lamb, no goose, and no massive steaks like I have in France in abundance.

There's nice strawberries at the moment and corn on the cob, but the same amount of produce isn't available here either. The only bonus is I could cook mushrooms (the non-groovy kind) because there are more varieties here than in France.

2. Everything seems to have high fructose corn syrup in it.

I don't need to be fluent in Dutch to see that the most common ingredient in pre-made anything in Holland seems to be high fructose corn syrup. Which is evil and should be a substance controlled by some special department of every government. In France there is legislation that says there can't be high fructose corn syrup in certain products and then only in certain percentages. I am very thankful for this as HFCS has been proven to lead to fat ass syndrome - or in my case fatter ass than usual syndrome seeing as I've put on 3 kilos since coming to A'dam!

3. Public transport is expensive and fairly useless.

The RAPT/SNCF might go on strike a lot and tourists might complain, but hands down, Paris has the best public transportation in the world. It's cheap (with a Navigo pass you can ride buses, trams, and the Metro as much as you want for less than 60,00 euros a month); it goes everywhere (aside from a few no-Metro zones, there seems to be a Metro station no more than a 10 minutes walk in almost any direction); and it's frequent.

I still don't get how to use trams in A'dam. I get the regular stuff, but what I don't get is how to make it more cost effective. It's pretty expensive to pay 3,40 for a single ride. In Paris 3,40 is a round trip journey with the right to change to any amount of trains in the Metro and one change to a bus ride per leg.

I also think some A'dam bike rental company needs to do the Velib. I would be so much more willing to ride a bike I could then put back on the special bike rack and not have to worry about. Otherwise it's rent bicycle, ride around, realise your calves are burning, stop for a drink, lock up bicycle, and then worry about whether or not it gets stolen. Or you get to ride around on a bicycle that screams tourist and I didn't learn to ride a bike in Holland because I wanted to look like a tourist. I can hang.

After six years, including once or twice having to deal with some legal-bureaucratic issues (I lost my identity card when I lived here, but someone actually turned it in to the police station), of living, visiting, driving through, taking day trips to, and renting apartments to live a sort of more daily life here these are the only things I can think to complain about.

Yesterday I did one of my favourite things to do in all of Amsterdam. I walked down to the Leidesplein and watched people play chess in front of the Hard Rock Cafe. Watching people play chess, talking to locals, seeing a little boy chomping at the bit to test his skills - I can sit there for hours and hours or at least until 10:00 pm when the guy comes to put all the gigantic chess pieces away for the night.

My day was to wake up, do a little housework, write a blog post, hang out at La Tertulia (which is a great coffeeshop on the Prinsengracht), play cards, write in my notebook, eat Thai food at Thaise Snackbar, watch chess, walked around until I was exhausted, ate a giant waffle with chocolate chip ice cream (which I made at the flat), watch old episodes of Big Bang Theory, and fell asleep to the sound of rain.

My friend is coming from London today, so that's why I've held off on doing any touristy things. We're off to the beach tomorrow if the weather cooperates and to visit Haarlem. On Saturday we're taking a booze/smoke friendly boat ride along the canals. We might even go to the Rijskmuseum - especially if the sun holds out since we figure people will want to be outdoors so it might be less crowded.

I'll be home in less than a week now and maybe it might be a few months before I'm able to return here, but this sense of feeling like I am free here - not so weighed down by the minuitae of French culture and all its ouis et nons and how conservative it all is - it brings out the very best in me. I can spend the day just walking with no desintation in mind, with no worries in France too - mais bien sur. But here in Amsterdam I can meet other flâneurs more easily it seems. And they're not all polished up and making so much effort (which is exactly the kind of flâneuse I am in Paris too). They're hippies; bankers, students, ladies who work in a bakery; and a Dutchman reading four newspapers while smoking a joint.

Yes I am lucky to live in France and it does suit me. I just feel luckier that I get to come here every now and then and let that little part of me that loves Amsterdam get up, crimp her hair, put on a "I Heart Zombies" t-shirt from The Walking Dead comic books with a fancy skirt, and shake her booty. Mostly because my hair looks awesome crimped.

Here's to all of us being at our best!

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A Day of Wandering to New Places and Visiting Old Haunts

Abandoned doll house on the Prisengracht. Eventually someone took it.

Pissoir next to the Homomonument. I always thought there needed to be a monument ;).

By hook or by crank.

Stalemate.

This man goes out on this little boat and makes music simply for the fun of it. I <3 this guy.

World's fanciest Burger King dining room perhaps?

Still the Burger King @ Centraal Station.

On the way to take one of the free ferries to Noord Amsterdam.

It's a dog statue's life.

Odd house spotted in Noord Amsterdam.



Noord baby.



Amazing pond found in Noord A'dam.

Ducks nesting or resting.

Baby ducks strike out on their own.

Weird stamp.

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Day Six in Amsterdam

One of the things I've been working on during my time in A'dam is some art. I love collage art. It's an addiction. I'm surprised I don't belong to a scrapbooking circle or something. Anyways, A'dam is a great place to work on collage art because of all the FREE paper with stuff printed on it around. I pick up anything free and try to incorporate it into my collage. This collage is actually a sort of magazine/guide/tribute to A'dam. I even made a little fold-out map to the Rijksmuseum that slides into a baggie from a coffeeshop (incidentally the first such purchase I made this trip), my horoscope, some Dutch funnies, an attempt at Sudoku, and a few other things I either like to visit or plan on visiting this trip. It took a massive amount of time to do, but I'm rather happy with the end results thus far. There are still a few things I want to add before I'll feel it's complete.

Another big moment today. I finally went and visited Amnesia (cofeeshop, Herengracht 133), which I somehow never have managed to make it to. I was particularly interested because they won the Cannabis Cup last year for their sativa "Acapulco Gold". I bought some, vaped it up, and had a really nice time there.

The toilet at Amesia I am not kidding is on a slant. You cannot tell from this picture but there is something horribly disorientating about trying to maintain your equilibrium while peeing only to realise it's the toilet not you that is off kilter. Especially given the circumstances.

At Amensia I asked the friendly dealer behind the counter a few questions. I found out they're owned by the same people who own Barney's - another shop with lots of cup winning cannabis and hash. From him I learned that a pure joint is 3x stronger than one mixed with tobacco and that medically speaking one shouldn't mix tobacco and cannabis because while THC opens the lungs, nicotine constricts the capillaries. It's actually better to smoke pure, he assures me, "some people say it is better than smoking nothing". He's Dutch so he admits he still things spliff (50/50 mix cannabis to tobacco) is the best way to smoke for social reasons and because it keeps things mellow.

I went around the corner to The Grey Area, which is perhaps my favourite coffeeshop. I picked up some of the Silver Bubble. Very nice. Got to put a sticker on the wall and eavesdrop on some French kids. Then I decided it was time to play some pool.

The only place I like to play pool in A'dam is at the coffeeshop Prix d'Ami (Haringpakkerssteeg 3, near close to Centraal Station). There's lots of pool tables and it's fairly cheap. You put down a 10,00 euro deposit and it's 7,00 euros an hour. I lost horribly.



Today's random photos.

Today when I passed "Cup a la Cake" it was open so I couldn't resist going inside. I bought 2 cupcakes - Strawberry/Chocolate and Chocolate and then 2 "cake pops". The cake pops have been devoured (as seen below) and were delicious.

Other things? Found an amazing takeout Indonesian place (that appeared to have no name, I just followed some Dutch people in when I couldn't decide where to eat). For 8,00 euros I got more noodles and super spicy and delicious Indonesian food than my stomach could handle. It's on the Elandsgracht and the inside is mint green. I am going to assume that only one restaurant on Elandsgracht is mint green inside. I should maybe double check.

The moon is getting full! I wrote a short story today that I think I'm going to polish up and illustrate "collage style". I can't wait to put together my little "experiment" and see if I can't get some kind article out of it! I'll be posting it up here on my blog at any rate.

Bonne nuit les petits and thanks for reading. I have readers in the Ukraine, Japan, India, and all kinds of places now. I hope my blog adds a little something to your day.





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